I was sitting on my couch meditating. In one hand I held my favorite crystal. I was alternating between silently chanting the mantra I learned from my Transcendental Meditation course in college, with thoughts of forgiveness. I had been sitting peacefully this way with my eyes closed for some time, feeling more and more centered and relaxed.
Suddenly up in the upper right-hand corner of my mind’s eye, I saw a brilliant, circular, multi-colored pulsating Light. There are no words to describe this Light. It knew everything about me and seemed to be part of me and I was part of it. I said to myself, “What is that?” I just continued to stare at it with my eyes closed. It came into view much larger, seeming to jump to double the size. I had never seen anything like it before – a throbbing Light that seemed to be pure consciousness. When it jumped again to the third size, I left my body and went up toward this Light.
Just before I exited my body, my left eardrum began to vibrate and I heard a buzzing, humming sound. I now know what this sound was. It was my vibration increasing to a higher level. It was as if I had been vibrating at a lower level and was now increasing in speed, as if the hum started out low and then went higher and higher, like the sound an airplane engine makes as it revs up ready for take-off.
During the split second it took to leave my body, I heard behind me the words “Oh, no, you don’t!!!”, and I immediately had the thought, “Oh, you can just leave your body?!” There was absolutely no difficulty in leaving – by that I mean there was no seeming block to going out. It was as if I was then at such a high vibration, that I left between the particles of matter.
I seemed to be splitting in two, with the negative part of me being left behind and only the very best of me that was leaving. I felt my infinite goodness – my true nature – leave.
There was a tremendous magnetic pull that caused me to leave and go up toward the Light. As I left, I felt exactly as if I had slipped on ice with my feet going out from under me – feeling no gravitational pull at all once I was out.
Before I knew what was happening, a Voice in front of me said “She’s afraid!!!” At that moment I was “allowed” to snap back into my body. I say “allowed” because I know that if this was the time I was to permanently leave, I would have continued upward. I felt as if I was “let go” from this magnetic pull.
I felt the feelings that the Voice had for me – as if we were one. I felt the compassion, love and respect that were accorded me, and that that was the reason I was re-entering my body – so as not to frighten me further.
At the moment I left, I felt myself join the rest of myself that had been residing outside of my body. I felt how ultra-magnificent we really are. It was wonderful not to have to breathe, but to just be my true self – pure, loving consciousness.
I knew at that moment that life is eternal, and that not all of ourselves could possibly fit into our body. If all of who we are were inside our bodies, they would explode from the energy.
When I was outside my body, it was as if my mind suddenly expanded to the edges of the Universe and beyond. I knew at that instant that no matter what we think we have done to cause harm, we cannot harm what God has created – that there is no reason for any guilt. All is perfection and we cannot change that.
When I split off again and re-entered my body, I felt the part that was re-entering dilute in energy in order to fit back into my body. I went passed my heart and felt it take a beat. I knew at that moment that God is the Power that beats all of our hearts all over the earth simultaneously, and that this is very easy for God to do. I felt how effortlessly God can beat everyone’s hearts and was in awe. (By “everyone,” I mean every animal, insect, bird – everyone.)
I was in total shock and just sat there on the couch unmoving for a few minutes, still with my eyes closed.
I then jumped up and ran around the room so happy to KNOW the things I had just learned – and to know that we can ultimately do no harm.
My then ex-husband was standing in the driveway collecting his things from the garage. He was with his present wife. I had always thought of them as a two-some, but now I saw them as separate beings, each on their own paths. When I looked at my ex-husband, he was glowing so brightly, it was as if I had to squint to see him. It was as if there was a sun shining from within through every pore. And even though he was actually in his thirties in age, he looked to me to be about six years old. That his consciousness and pure being was that of someone around six – very young.
I met my former mother-in-law for lunch and was in a total expanded state the whole time. When the waitress came over to take our order, I felt that I loved her dearly, even though we had never met before. I felt a pain and ache that she wouldn’t sit down at the table with us and share her life story so that we could become close friends. Every stranger seemed to cause me emotional pain because they were distant.
I also had an aching in my chest area – from my heart chakra where I had slammed back into my body. When I hugged my former mother-in-law, the pain went away. I wondered if that’s where the idea of hugging originated - to stop the pain of separation we all feel.
It took about a year of searching and attending NDE meetings before I felt the depression of that day lifting. After it happened, I was at a complete loss for what we are doing here on earth – it is so foreign to who we really are. I fell into a depression over the contrast of our true Home and everyday life here on earth.
There is not a day that goes by even after two decades that I don’t think about my experience and long for Home again. I am eternally grateful for the knowledge that I have, because it brings me peace of mind knowing that death is merely a stepping out of the body into the Light.
It was because of my experience that I have been led to use my art for metaphysical teachings – especially for children.